Single, Jewish, and Living with Illness by Ronit Leibowitz and Rochelle Shoretz
Serious illness can be overwhelming for a woman at any stage of life. Facing illness as a single Jewish woman can be all the more challenging. While those around her struggle to balance professional and social lives, the single woman living with cancer, for example, confronts the additional anxieties of life with a serious illness and its impact on dating, fertility, and religious life in the Jewish community.Illness touches single women's lives in ways that are unique. Single women
* Often do not have the daily or consistent support that a partner can provide.
* May face the emotional turmoil of moving back home to be cared for by loved ones.
* Face serious concerns about the impact of treatment- especially for cancer- on their fertility and ability to biologically parent a child.
* May face greater insecurities about their physical appearance, particularly after surgery or during chemotherapy treatments.
* May lose their hair during chemotherapy and need to cover their heads, a practice that is associated with marriage in the Orthodox community.
* Must decide when and how to tell a prospective partner that they have or have had a serious illness.
* May be concerned about the impact of a diagnosis on their marriage prospects, if they wish to marry with the assistance of a Shadchan (matchmaker).
* Are concerned about the potential risk to future generations, as in the case of breast cancer where 1 in 40 Jewish women of Ashkenazi descent are carriers of a mutation in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes that may predispose a carrier to breast cancer.
* Do not have nearly as many support group options. Most groups target women with children, and some may be inappropriate for those who are not sexually active.
More frightening than living with a serious illness such as cancer is thinking that you are the only person like you living with serious illness. For single Jewish women, the support of peers can be invaluable. Women who address common health concerns can form a community within the community, a place of reassurance and guidance, where no woman must feel alone. The challenge before us is to shape the broader Jewish community into that very same haven.
Ronit Leibowitz is a student at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work and a summer intern at Sharsheret. Rochelle Shoretz is the Founder and Executive Director of Sharsheret, a national not-for-profit organization supporting young Jewish women facing breast cancer. Call toll-free (866) 474-2774 or visit our website http://www.sharsheret.org
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